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ok so here's the deal...
 

lightning capital of the world and making fun!!! not in that order

ok so heres the deal... everyone knows now that michael jackson is dead, whatever yeah he used to be good now he's dead, end of story...or so i might liked to have thought...after work i get home and get ready to go to the gym...now is where the fun begins because today was not really the best day ever...i think that sometimes i have the effect of suffocating people that i care a lot about...anyways so after suffocating someone not physically, but you know where i'm going with this...i am sitting there trying to figure out how to correct/salvage what i have done to turn it around which i am normally really good at but this time i think i stepped in it too much because come to find out while i am sitting there thinking about what i can do to correct things reality strikes (the suffocatee's [which i don't think is a word but you know where i'm going with this] gpa died and i was just making it worse apparently [not that i was in the loop on that part of the conversation] instead of seeing if there was anything that i could do to help i was wondering what i could do to correct things with the said suffocatee) anyways so that was a terrible start to the day, and then i hear that michael jackson is dead which doesnt' really bother me but i started to joke around a little bit too much apparently because when i got home and then went to the gym to releave some pent up stress i get home and this is where reality really strikes and when i say reality i mean lightning...ok so let me set this up...God in his infinite wisdom was like hey jared needs to learn a lesson...so lets have someone call the landline aka house phone and then when he picks up the phone let's have it be a telemarketer that we know that jared won't want to talk to, then just as he is about to put the phone down let's send some shocking revelation thru the phone and when i say revelation i mean freaking bolts of lightning...so after that i kinda hit the ground like someone just sucker punched you in the face and then hit you in the face with a sledge hammer but a lot worse...cause then when i get back up and back to my senses i realize that my hearing in my left ear is kinda fuzzy/ringing really bad...so a little bit of blood never hurt anyone unless it was coming from their ear... and i really need those. so i am in need of a shower obviously after pounding out the weights at the gym...and then i update my facebook status, and then i write this blog after catching up on some of my cartoons...now you may be asking why isn't jared at the doctor...answer is because i don't want to go to the doctor unless i really have to, meaning if i sleep on it and then when i wake up in the morning if it still hurts/can't hear then i will see the doctor...but even then i will just be like whatever and deal with it because i don't like going to doctors because i work for one and i know the amount of paperwork you have to fill out for something really stupid like a lightning strike...well anyways i just thought that i would fill you in on why i may have to have you yell at me if you are on my left side...that would be why...anyways lesson learned maybe...well i guess on the bright side i was going to go swimming during the storm...but that could've put me in the same boat as michael jackson and that would suck to die on the same day that you were talking about him dying...i mean seriously how often does that happen?!

l3unny OUT
ー完了ー

By: Jared | Thursday, June 25, 2009 at 10:28 PM | |

life in the not so fast lane.....

ok so here's the deal...my life as of late has been kinda like the fabled box of chocolates that forest gump refers to in the all time not so classic movie forest gump (nothing against the movie i just can't stand tom hanks...he kinda annoys me like a lot) but anyways back to the story of my life in the not so fast lane and what that means to all of you....like it would mean anything to you anyways...i just thought that i would try and include you all since all the interaction that you get from this blog is the occasional what the crap is this kid talking about look whilst reading it...as well as the occasional story related to one of my readers....ok so now that i have completely gone off track and everything like that you might be asking what in the crap am i reading...and here it goes...my life is not like a box of chocolates because i know exactly what i am getting out of it...how you ask...because i am a product of my choices...and guess what i have made some pretty good choices as well as some not so good choices, so does that make me a good/bad guy...answer = yes it does that is why sometimes when people meet me for the first time/when people encounter me (like an exhibit at a zoo or something they think to themselves) "is that person really safe to talk to, cause he looks like a jerk/meanie/punk to me" and if you have ever thought that which i know that pretty much everyone reading this has thought that because i know who reads this and who doesn't but anyways yeah so i can be a nice/good guy too, you just have to not be afraid of being bitten/attacked/become the product of my not so jerk lifestyle and man up some courage to talk to me...i promise i don't bite...now that i have completely gone away from what i wanted to talk about let me start over...[and i just popped my elbow which has been unable to pop for the last 2.5 hours which was causing me quite a bit of pain, i should probably stop doing that] but anyways, my life has been exciting as of late...car crashes, no car for like a month at a time, being really awkward, talking with people that know that you aren't a jerk but still play like they think that you are a jerk, loving, hating, hating loving, and loving hating but all in all i knew that it would all come about because i am a product of my choices and i love to make choices as long as they make my life interesting then i am all down for them...now that you are completely comfused and wondering if you still wanna talk to me/read my blog ask yourself what choices have you made today? oh yeah and the title states that my life doesn't really move that fast...but in reality it moves so fast that it seems like life is going slow...or something like that i was gonna try and tie something cool in there but i got so off topic that i don't have time/space to fix it, maybe next time...lated!

l3unny OUT
ー完了ー

By: Jared | Thursday, June 18, 2009 at 4:52 PM | |

stairs not comfortable for sleeping...

ok so heres the deal...i just realized that the stairs at my house are not conducive to sleeping on...why do i know this you ask...because of recent events i found myself outside of my house without my keys because i don't have my car (hence no car keys/house keys) so i infiltrated the house via the back garage door only to find that once i got inside the garage the down stairs door was locked, for the first time in the 20 years that down stairs door was locked and i was in the garage...what kinda crap is that? so i go into the office and play on the computer till the wee hours of the morning trying to do somethings but ended up not doing anything except watching some terrible movies...but just to try it out i tried to sleep on the steps...really bad idea, i lasted about 10.3 minutes before i felt really crappy cause stairs just arent your very own bed...so it was back to the chair where i remained until my dad came downstairs to find me sprawled all over the office chair like i had been murdered without the blood...how ever that looks, lets just say it was really bad. well that's the story of one of the late nights that i had recently...thanks i think that everyone should try it sometime...but only if you wanna wake up with serious pains all over the place...

l3unny OUT
ー完了ー

By: Jared | Thursday, June 11, 2009 at 11:23 AM | |

pretty much an epiphany...

ok so heres the deal... these last couple of months as i wallow in my self pity [ not even a good idea, i don't reccomend it at all ] i noticed one thing. and that one thing that i noticed is that self pity gets you nothing!!!!! ahahahahaha that's not even really what i was going to say but anyways...yesterday whilst amongst my labors of the day i met this man, who had a stroke and had lost most of the control of his right side of his body...now when i saw this guy, the only thing that i could think was "wow, he looks surprisingly happy" and his wife was super sweet. ok so now that you have the premise of my story let me explain a little bit more. do you wanna here a cute little story? if you continue reading you will certainly hear one [at least i think that it is cute, and i'm not really one to say anything innanimate is cute so just try and follow along if you will] (oh yeah and this keyboard's space bar doesnt' work all the time so i have to backspace a lot to correct some ofthe words like that "of the")anyways back to the story.


as it were i was finishing up with one of my patients, and this elderly couple comes in and was wondering whether or not i would be able to get them in any earlier than their appointed time, i take a look at the books and realize that it may happen if i move quickly, and normally i don't like to be inconvenienced with trivial things like helping other people because of their poor planning...[that's actually not true, i get a kick out of helping people but for the sake of thestory let's say that i don't, it will make it more better in the end]. so as i am mulling over whether or not to help this elderly couple, i think back on my life and...j/k. i finally decide that i am going to help them because i need some help from others sometimes too. ok here comes the mushy part, so the husband isin his 70's...a really cute little black man, sitting in his wheel chair, with which he was recently confined to due to a stroke, just beaming. when i finally call his name his face gets even brighter, and it's like playing with a small child, but ok back to the story, i am like "mr. steven [not his real name obviously] i'm ready for you." and i approach him and begin to push his wheel chair back to the exam room, now what we have to do next is funny/cute. because his wheelchair won't fit under the table we have to move him from the wheel chair to another chair...so this is great, this is where his wife stands in front of him and locks the wheels on the chair as to not let it get away, when she says to him "grab my hand, and i will help you up..." and 1. she is not the spryest chicken in the field but shes got a lot of kick/sass in her step probably so that she can deal with days like this...at this moment all strength leaves his legs and he slowly slips back into his chair, when his wife says to him again, in the sweetest voice you have probably ever heard...like one person who has gone the distance of a life time with the other could only say she says, grab a hold of me and don't let go, and we will dance like we used to...now if you could see the spring/life that jumped into this mans eyes as his wife said that you might have thought that he won a million dollars or something like that, but nay, he did not win money he won the love of his life...i just thought that it was really sweet/cute whatever.... and then once the exam was over i could tell that she was tired and when it was time to move him to the big exam chair, she probably couldn't do it so i offered to help, and when i say help i just hefted him (all of about 160lbs of him) up into the chair like child, it was actually kinda touching...but maybe i wasn't supposed to help him the first time so that i could see those two in action and get a glimpse of what every couple should share...and then she promptly thanked me and said in her sassy southern drawl "now why din'chu do that from the start?" i just looked at her and laughed inside when she promptly thanked me, and all along i was thinking to myself "no, no, no, thank you!" lesson learned today! i don't know but there was a lot. and it kinda seems like it turned into a romance novel or something but don't worry about it...i just learned that life is full of experiences like that to help us make lemonade out of those lemons that life throws at us.

l3unny OUT
ー完了ー

By: Jared | Tuesday, June 9, 2009 at 8:55 AM | |

Life as i know it! including but not limited to:

ok so heres the deal...you remember how my car was pretty much destroyed...well no change there except that my insurance carrier state farm is thinking about not paying the cost of the damages to the vehicle even though i have fulfilled my end of the contract...so yeah, i am sure that they are going to come up with some fancy schmancy reason for not fullfilling their end of the deal...but oh well...i heard something last month ish, and was then again reminded of it today whilst at work... here it goes...LIFE SUCKS!!!? j/k but seriously... a really good friend of mine reminded me of this"it's the darkest right before it goes pitch black!!!" i read/heard that and laughed...that's about the story of my life right now... 1. car hits wall/truck, 2.personal issues (including but not limited to: friends, women, work), 3. phone issues (including but not limited to: insurance not covering it when i have been paying for the insurance since receiving my phone) 4. now car insurance issues (including but again not limited to: state farm sucking really bad and saying that i am too much of a liability to drive either of my parents vehicles, so what am i supposed to drive...my car? yeah that would be nice if you people would pay for your part of the deal, as agreed when signing up for your craptastical insurance coverage.) so yeah going back to that statement of it getting the darkest right before it goes pitch black...well i'm there!!!! aghhhh, i'm gonna need a freaking flashlight or a torch here pretty quick. cause all i can see right now is blackness....not to get you down or anything by reading this...i am sure that somewhere in this long lesson of Job like trials [not to make lite of his trials in any way, shape, or form] i am supposed to be learning something. next time i will tell you what i learned! but for the moment, all i can do is hope that someone out there has a mirror or something that can bounce some light my way!!!! hahahaha that was kinda not so poetic as i was hoping but anyways...gotta keep my head up and learn to deal!!!!! over and out major!
l3unny OUT
ー完了ー

By: Jared | Monday, June 8, 2009 at 6:13 PM | |

surgery? wthf

ok so heres the deal...apparently my youngest little brother is in Japan tearing it up right now and then all of the sudden we get a call from his mission president...[see last post for more details]...and then we get another phone call today saying that he is in Tokyo getting ready to undergo surgery for a shattered collar bone...no i am no rocket scientist but i am pretty sure that whatever happend happend hard, and whatever will come following this experience will only serve to strengthen his testimony in the truth of this message that he has been called to proclaim to the beloved people of Japan. my little brother is a stud to the fullest! by far one of the greatest kids that i know...has always been and always will be for as long as i can see...so Drew, guess what this ones for your Bro. Love you and you better take off and run with this once you get out of surgery,,,and make sure you're off the drugs long enough to put together some coherent sentances when you call us in approx 4 hours...you are such a stud...shout out to you, my little freakin brother. tough it out, work hard, and use this experience as a stepping stone to move onto much bigger and better things. Love you [ this much ] plus a whole lot more.

l3unny OUT
ー完了ー

By: Jared | Friday, June 5, 2009 at 1:49 AM | |

sometimes news is never good from Japan, DEWAIIF! [maybe]

ok so aside from the fact that yesterday i realized how freaking awkward i am, hopefully i'll get over that in a sec...ok now that i got over that. i feal [why isn't feel spelt like real or other similar sounding words? just asking is all] much better after speaking my mind...amazing how that works right...so let me get to the part of my being super awkward and w/o a doubt probably the worst native english speaker that i know...and yeah i know english is technically my native language but anyways...more on that later if your still a pal. but to be a little blunt i am a dork, not in all aspects of my life perse but maybe you can see where this is going...maybe not so let me take a step back annalyze the situation and take a step forward, take another step back, re annalyze the situation and then take one final step forward into the dark, one freaking giant leap of stupidity that could've cost me a lot more than i realized, but in the end it all works out, so hopefully i will grow out of my awkwardness and maybe i won't maybe that little bit of crazyness is what makes me a jerk from the get go, and then slowly helps people to realize that i am not only a jerk but also an awkward slightly off jerk...j/k but anyways...so aside from where this was going,,, a lot of interesting things have transpired in the past week...let me be brief in the explanation because most of you have probably stopped reading at this point in time anyways...so i went out last night, hence the awkward part at the beginning of this blog, then i went to go talk it off with a pal of mine, and then got a call from my dad saying that he just touched down at MCO [Orlando International Airport] and would require transit home from Las Vegas...and then yeah, this is where i just kinda wonder why things happen...so we get home and my mom is still up...so our first response is this...maybe she is reading a book...maybe she was just waiting for my dad, the man of my moms dreams to come home...judging by the fact that i told you those options and then even that i brought up the fact means that it was neither of those right...correct! my mom was up past her 9:00pm bed time -it now being 1:30am - to relate the story that my little brothers mission president had just called and woken her up...now mission presidents only call when it's serious...so we all looked a little distraught, but we didn't even know why, so yeah apparently my youngest little brother with whom is pretty much one of the coolest kids that i know, was involved in an accident where his collar bone was completly shattered, and is now being transported to Tokyo to undergo exams to see what can be done, albeit putting a cast [what kinda craptacular cast can you put on a collar bone?] or even worse having him undergo surgery!? sorry but that is definitely not something that i would wish on anyone,,,but until i know a little bit more than we are all still a little bit in the dark. i think that the only thing that is really cool about this is that my younger brother who is also serving in Japan is serving in Tokyo so i would hope that everything will go well and that Austin [Tokyo] will be able to be there for Drew [Kobe] for all of this. but who knows. Thanks for listening/reading whatever. have a wonderful day!


l3unny OUT
ー完了ー

By: Jared | Thursday, June 4, 2009 at 11:12 AM | |

ma ma ma ma poker face! (heart attacks, stars)

ok so heres the deal,  the other day and when i say that i mean...yesterday night...guess what song we heard 6 times...yeah you guessed it lady ga-ga's poker face...what a song...you honestly can't change the radio station with out hearing that song!!! aghhhhhh. but anyways so it's a funny song cause of bill and ted's excellent adventure when they are playing poker in the bar and bill says to ted 'dude you gotta have a poker face' [cue the freakish out burst of laughter] oh yeah, so that's the end of that story i think...can you tell that i have a lot on my plate right now...my thoughts are running together and i can't really think straight...not my typical blog style maybe...? who knows but anyways if you didn't figure it out then i've told you already...sooo about the heart attack...so when i was at work today...the lab technician came out of the lab looking really pale, and somewhat frazzled, she was holding her chest like she had been shot, which i was pretty sure wasn't the case because there was no gun shot, and no blood...but anyways...she looks at me and says 'aghhh' which sounds kinda weird when you can't really breathe...but i immediately told her to sit down and i would make sure that she was ok...so i sit her down in the chair next to me and procede to ask her some questions to try and keep her with us...and she says,,,"i can't breath, there is a huge sharp pain in my chest and i need some help" so i call 911 and go through the whole schpeel about what's going on and then approximately 2 minutes and 37 seconds go by and the Fire rescue is pounding through the door trying to figure out what is going on...she gets attended to and rushed off to the hospital, and i am like holy crap, what a 'sucky day' and then i finish watching nemo for the 5th time...all along thinking that i only have to watch it 3 more times today before the day is over....all along not even thinking that my mind is elsewhere...and if i were able to i would tell you what i was thinking about but truth betold i don't feel it appropriate to [it's not even bad just kinda not me...ish] it's fine. and then the girl [Cheryl Burke] who placed 2nd in the dancing with the stars t.v. show came in and was like can i have an eye exam...yeah, even though i don't know who you are but yeah, really nice personallity and what but i just thought that i would let everyone know that i saved a life and met someone 'famous' if you will...all along not even being with the flow of things today...man i have had an interesting day! thanks for sharing your time!

l3unny OUT
ー完了ー

By: Jared | Tuesday, June 2, 2009 at 9:34 PM | |